MAXWELL MOMENT |
Communicating With Character
by Dr. John C. Maxwell
A well-known proverb says the following about communication:
"It's not what you say, but how you say it."
The
proverb is deservedly well known. Delivery has an enormous impact on
our ability to connect with an audience. Authors Dan and Chip Heath
have written a bestseller, Made to Stick, devoted to helping leaders
land their ideas in the minds and memories of listeners. Applying tips
such as simplicity, emotional appeal, and storytelling to our
communication reaps huge dividends.
An extension to the communication proverb, says:
"It's not only what you say, and how you say it, but also when you say it."
True
enough. Timing plays a vital role in the way we communicate. Awareness
of emotions, mood, and context all factor into effective communication.
Given the nature of their roles, salespeople have no choice but to
understand this added dimension of communication. A sales pitch
delivered at an opportune moment seals the deal, but the same appeal
falls flat if inserted at the wrong time.
Even
if we're not in sales, we know the value of timing from personal
experience. In the emotional aftermath of failure, well-intentioned
criticism feels like a punch in the mouth. However, the same criticism
received after we've had a chance to cool down is readily welcomed.
Delivery
impacts our communication, and so does timing, but in this edition of
Leadership Wired, I'd like to take the communication proverb one step
further.
"It's not just what you say, how you say it, and when you say it, but also who says it."
For
a leader, communication involves more than presentations and
speechmaking. It's not an event, but rather a skill. A leader's daily
behavior screams to those he or she leads. Does the leader have a track
record of honesty? If so, his words carry the weight of trust. Does a
leader take the time to listen? If not, she will be tuned
out—regardless of a silver tongue. Is a leader likeable? If so, he
predisposes people to be open and receptive to communication.
In
the remainder of this lesson, let's examine the communication benefits
a leader wins day by day through consistency of character.
1) Honor Your Agreements - Communication Benefit: Trust
As
a leader, never make promises lightly, and when you do, go the extra
mile to honor your word. If your actions consistently match your words,
you'll gain an incredible communication asset—trust. I guarantee that
following through on your commitments will 1) Involve a high personal
cost 2) Be inconvenient 3) Be worth every sacrifice.
2) Display Emotion - Communication Benefit: Authenticity
Don't
be the Tin Man on the job. Have a heart. Try not to wear it on your
sleeve, but allow it to infect your workdays with passion. People
suspect an emotionless leader of being only partially invested in the
mission. Allowing glimpses of your joys and sorrows will endow your
communication with authenticity. People don't care how much you know
until they know how much you care.
3) Embody Values - Communication Benefit: Credibility
In
the 21st century, cream-of-the-crop employees are not looking for a
place to work; they're searching for a cause to join. They'll be
attracted to strong values, but they'll be put off if they don't see
you modeling them. Be purposeful in acting out your core values and
giving them visibility. When people see you insist on values and fight
for what you believe, they will find you credible. In communication,
this credibility inclines your people to accept your words.
4) Be Generous with Praise - Communication Benefit: Likeability
Here's
a foolproof way to measure your leadership: how do you make people
feel? Being generous with praise is the best way to win others to your
side. People naturally want to be appreciated, and they crave
encouragement, so, by all means, don't withhold your praise from them.
Credit
them when they do well. Appoint yourself as head cheerleader, chief
supporter, and number one fan of your people. They'll admire you for
it, and you'll gain the advantage of likeability when you communicate
to them.
5) Listen - Communication Benefit: Respect
There's
no quicker way to earn respect than being slow to speak. Give your
people a forum to express their ideas, frustrations, and observations.
Better yet, inquire of them. Solicit their input and feedback. When
they speak, show you've heard them. Implement their ideas when
possible, and candidly explain yourself when you cannot act upon their
suggestions. Follow through, follow through, and follow through.
Listening isn't passive. It requires you to take notice, take notes,
and take action.
If you've proved to be a
leader who listens, then your people will respect your words. If you've
shown openness to them, they'll be infinitely more receptive to the
messages you send and the guidance you give.
